Combat veterans returning from war face significant emotional, psychological, and relational challenges that often lead to marital strain and an increased risk of divorce. The mental toll of war, coupled with the difficulties of reintegration into civilian life, can put immense pressure on marriages. Divorce rates among combat veterans are notably higher than those in the general population, primarily due to the impacts of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), financial stress, and communication breakdowns. This article examines the causes of divorce among combat veterans and highlights the potential benefits of interventions like the Healing the Hero initiative, which uses the Trauma Resiliency Protocol (TRP), developed by Daniel Jarvis, and the Jesus Protocol to address the deep-rooted effects of trauma. These programs offer veterans and their family’s critical tools to process trauma, build resilience, and promote healthy relationships.
Keywords: combat veterans, divorce, PTSD, Healing the Hero, Trauma Resiliency Protocol, Jesus Protocol, Daniel Jarvis, marital strain, veteran reintegration, mental health, military divorce
Introduction
The transition from military service to civilian life is a critical period for combat veterans and their families. Veterans who return home often face challenges that extend beyond their physical injuries, including psychological wounds that can strain even the most resilient relationships. Research shows that veterans, particularly those who have been exposed to combat, are at higher risk of divorce than their civilian counterparts (Karney & Crown, 2007). The difficulties of reintegration, coupled with the emotional toll of PTSD and other war-related trauma, can lead to marital breakdowns and significantly impact the well-being of veterans and their spouses. Partners of veterans with PTSD struggle right along with them.
This article explores the reasons behind elevated divorce rates among combat veterans and how trauma affects marital relationships. Additionally, it highlights how innovative interventions like the Healing the Hero initiative, incorporating the Trauma Resiliency Protocol (TRP), developed by Daniel Jarvis, and the Jesus Protocol, can help veterans and their families navigate the challenges of post-deployment life and reduce the risk of divorce.
The Impact of Combat on Relationships and Reintegration Challenges
Combat exposure often leaves lasting psychological effects on veterans, with PTSD being one of the most common conditions experienced after returning from war. PTSD is characterized by symptoms such as hyper-vigilance, intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, emotional numbness, and difficulty maintaining close relationships (American Psychiatric Association, 2013). The impact of PTSD can be especially detrimental to marriages, as veterans may struggle to communicate effectively with their spouses, leading to emotional distance, irritability, and conflict. Deployed military veterans can isolate themselves, miscommunicate or not even communicate at all.
The strain on marriages is exacerbated by the emotional burden veterans carry from their time in combat. The symptoms of PTSD can impair a veteran’s ability to express emotions, leading to misunderstandings and further marital difficulties. Without proper intervention and treatment, these symptoms can intensify and contribute to a downward spiral in the relationship (Sayers et al., 2009). However, programs like Healing the Hero, through the Trauma Resiliency Protocol developed by Daniel Jarvis, provide powerful, trauma-informed approaches that help veterans process their trauma and rebuild emotional connections with their spouses.
Reintegration into civilian life is one of the most challenging aspects of post-deployment for veterans. Many combat veterans find it difficult to transition from the high-adrenaline, structured environment of military life to the often slower, less structured civilian world (Demers, 2011). This shift can create feelings of frustration, disconnection, and isolation, particularly if veterans struggle to find purpose or meaning outside of the military.
For spouses, the reintegration process presents its own set of challenges. During deployment, many spouses assume additional responsibilities, including managing the household and raising children. When the veteran returns, adjusting to a new family dynamic can lead to conflicts over roles and responsibilities (Renshaw & Caska, 2012). The veteran’s emotional withdrawal, compounded by the spouse’s frustration over the shifting family dynamic, often contributes to marital discord.
Financial difficulties are another major contributor to divorce among veterans. Transitioning from military to civilian life often involves significant changes in employment and income. Veterans may struggle to find stable employment or adjust to lower-paying civilian jobs, which can place additional financial stress on the family (Ruglass et al., 2011). Financial instability can quickly become a source of tension in marriages, further exacerbating the emotional challenges veterans and their spouses face. Spouses of veterans with PTSD should do their due diligence regarding divorce on military benefits.
Divorce Rates Among Combat Veterans
Research has consistently shown that combat veterans are more likely to experience divorce compared to the general population. One study found that male veterans who served in the Gulf War were 62% more likely to divorce than their civilian peers (Karney & Crown, 2007). The reasons for this elevated risk of divorce include PTSD, the intensity of combat experiences, the length of deployment, and the difficulties associated with multiple deployments.
Among veterans with PTSD, the risk of divorce is even higher. A study by the Department of Veterans Affairs found that veterans with PTSD are twice as likely to experience divorce as those without PTSD (Sayers et al., 2009). Additionally, these veterans report lower levels of marital satisfaction, greater difficulty with communication, and an increased likelihood of conflict with their spouses. Know your rights and benefits eligibility should you divorce your veteran, especially with children involved.
The Role of Healing the Hero in Addressing Marital Strain
The Trauma Resiliency Protocol (TRP), developed by Daniel Jarvis, is a cornerstone of the Healing the Hero initiative. TRP offers veterans a structured and effective way to address the trauma they carry from their combat experiences. This success-based protocol helps individuals process traumatic memories in a way that reduces their emotional intensity and minimizes their impact on daily life. By doing so, veterans can better manage their PTSD symptoms, reduce emotional numbness, and reconnect with their loved ones (Jarvis, 2019).
TRP guides veterans through a process of identifying and confronting their trauma, allowing them to reframe their experiences in a healthier way. This reduces the likelihood that traumatic memories will trigger emotional outbursts or lead to withdrawal, both of which can damage relationships. Veterans who undergo TRP often report improvements in their ability to communicate with their spouses, manage conflict, and rebuild intimacy—key factors in reducing the risk of divorce.
The Jesus Protocol, also offered through the Healing the Hero program, integrates spiritual healing with trauma recovery. This faith-based approach is grounded in the principles of forgiveness, redemption, and emotional restoration. Many veterans find that their experiences in combat challenge their faith or sense of purpose, which can lead to existential crises that further strain their relationships. The Jesus Protocol offers veterans a path to reconnect with their spirituality, find meaning in their experiences, and promote healing on both a psychological and spiritual level (Healing the Hero, 2021).
For veterans and their spouses who share a strong spiritual or religious connection, the Jesus Protocol can provide a foundation for rebuilding trust, fostering empathy, and cultivating forgiveness in their marriage. By addressing the spiritual dimension of trauma, the Jesus Protocol helps veterans and their spouses deepen their emotional bond and restore their relationship, even in the face of past hardships.
Another key element of the Healing the Hero program is the emphasis on peer support. Veterans often benefit from connecting with others who have shared similar experiences, and Healing the Hero fosters a community where veterans and their families can support each other. Peer groups provide emotional support, reduce feelings of isolation, and offer practical advice for navigating the challenges of post-deployment life. This sense of community can be vital in reducing the stress that contributes to marital breakdowns (Renshaw & Caska, 2012).
Interventions and Support for Combat Veterans and Their Families
In addition to the Healing the Hero program, other interventions are available to support veterans and their families in maintaining healthy relationships and reducing the risk of divorce.
Marriage Counseling and Therapy
Marriage counseling is one of the most effective ways to address marital strain among combat veterans. Trauma Resiliency Protocol(TRP), other trauma-focused therapies, and couples counseling can help veterans, and their spouses improve communication, resolve conflicts, and rebuild trust. The VA offers marital counseling services to veterans and their families, which can be a critical resource for those struggling with the emotional and relational challenges of reintegration (Monson et al., 2009).
PTSD Treatment and Mental Health Support
Treating PTSD is essential for reducing the risk of divorce among veterans. The VA provides comprehensive PTSD treatment programs, including individual therapy, group therapy, and medication management. These programs help veterans process their trauma and develop healthy coping mechanisms, which can lead to improvements in both mental health and relationship satisfaction (Ruglass et al., 2011).
Financial stress is a significant contributor to divorce, and providing veterans with financial counseling and employment support is crucial. Programs such as the Veterans Employment and Training Service (VETS) offer job training, resume building, and career counseling to help veterans secure stable employment after their military service. Additionally, financial counseling services can help veterans and their families navigate the economic challenges of post-deployment life (Renshaw & Caska, 2012).
Conclusion
Combat veterans face unique and profound challenges upon returning from war, and these challenges can place significant strain on their marriages. PTSD, reintegration difficulties, financial strain, and communication breakdowns are all contributing factors to the elevated divorce rates among veterans. However, innovative programs like Healing the Hero, which incorporate the Trauma Resiliency Protocol (TRP) developed by Daniel Jarvis and the Jesus Protocol, offer veterans and their spouses valuable tools for processing trauma, rebuilding emotional connections, and promoting marital stability.
By addressing both the psychological and spiritual dimensions of trauma, the Healing the Hero initiative provides a holistic approach to healing that can significantly reduce the risk of divorce for combat veterans. Additionally, marriage counseling, PTSD treatment, financial support, and peer communities all play important roles in helping veterans and their families navigate the challenges of post-deployment life. Through targeted interventions and comprehensive support, we can improve the well-being of veterans and their families, fostering stronger, more resilient marriages.
References
American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Publishing.
Demers, A. (2011). When veterans return: The role of community in reintegration. Journal of Loss and Trauma, 16(2), 160-179. https://doi.org/10.1080/15325024.2010.519281
Healing the Hero. (2021). Healing the Hero: Trauma Resiliency Protocol (TRP) and Jesus Protocol. Retrieved from https://healingthehero.org
Jarvis, D. (2019). Trauma Resiliency Protocol: A guide for mental wellness. Retrieved from https://traumaresiliencyprotocol.com
Karney, B. R., & Crown, J. S. (2007). Families under stress: An assessment of data, theory, and research on marriage and divorce in the military. RAND Corporation. https://doi.org/10.7249/MG599
Monson, C. M., Fredman, S. J., & Macdonald, A. (2009). Couples therapy for posttraumatic stress disorder: Initial findings and innovations. Journal of Contemporary Psychotherapy, 39(4), 221-229. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10879-009-9119-1
Renshaw, K. D., & Caska, C. M. (2012). Relationship distress in partners of combat veterans: The role of partners’ perceptions of posttraumatic stress symptoms. Behavior Therapy, 43(2), 416-426. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.beth.2011.09.002
Ruglass, L. M., Melara, R. D., & Jackson, B. A. (2011). Psychological effects of deployment on military families: A review. Journal of Clinical Psychology in Medical Settings, 18(2), 137-152. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10880-011-9232-1
Sayers, S. L., Farrow, V. A., Ross, J., & Oslin, D. W. (2009). Family problems among recently returned military veterans referred for a mental health evaluation. Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 70(2), 163-170. https://doi.org/10.4088/JCP.07m03863
Article by: Dan Jarvis | Founder of TRUSA, 22ZERO and Healing the Hero.
